Post #13

Why did no one warn me about this?

The Menopausal Incident Report · Filed under: Pending Investigation

So by now you know that I do a LOT of ranting about society, shitty doctors (male and female, I don’t discriminate), kids, partners, misogynists twats at work. So what I have to say next HURTS, because it involves women. And worse still the women we admire and look up to. I can see that list of aforementioned ass-holes doing what they do best, but the ones we revere? I’m talking about mothers, aunts, older sisters. All those who kept their mouths well and truly zipped about the shittiest time in a woman’s life.

Mother, you let me down! As if being like Carrie White’s mother (from the famous opening ‘period-blood-splotting shower scene,’ of the same film) and reluctant to educate about periods, wasn’t bad enough. You didn’t even have a peep to say about the anti-puberty that is the death of fertility and menstruation and self esteem.

There was NO WARNING at all. It’s not like the young Crone that I was, didn’t have enough of these women around (I had four aunts- all dead ringers for bent and warty old hags now I cast my mind back). Was it some kind of in-joke? A sick punishment for me still being young and happy while they trundled towards invisibility? Or jealousy that they had lost the urge to fuck or the realization that nobody wanted to fuck them anymore?

Who knows, it could have been all that. OR worse, were they still chained by societal taboo? Or shame, it wouldn’t be the first time women have been made to feel shame about their bodies and normal human functions. BUT I’LL SAY THIS. It’s lazy, and downright pathetic! It’s like the worst ever case of pulling up the ladder after yourself. I can imagine them saying “well, I’ve been through it, nobody helped me now, it’s your turn to suffer.” SO, thanks to you bitches (pity you’ve all croaked otherwise I’d tear you a few new ones), I’m UNPREPARED. BLINDfuckingSIDED. As the saying goes, please have the courtesy to lube me up before you fucking shaft me! Instead I’ve been feeling my way around the minefield and as predicted things have been blowing up in my face.

It’s for this reason I set up my weekly met-up with the Sister Crones, because all of us have been betrayed by our lady kin. THEN the society that says it’s wrong to educate and talk to others about perimenopause and menopause (I smell men being behind this because blood gives them the ick). We need to be better at teaching and guiding our fellow women. That includes the whole shebang from periods talk at puberty right through to egg death and uterine shriveling. I call it the From Snout to Tail Survival Chat with nothing missed out in between.

So if, you’re suffering from the taboo. I say still go for it and force the conversation. Are you a Crone-In-Training or not? Because if you are finding as the one-balled man in the land of eunuchs, you have the power to make a difference.

God Save the Crone!