Post #20

Frozen shoulders and tennis elbows

The Crone Intelligence Briefing · Intelligence Suggests: Trouble Was Inevitable · Current Assessment: We're Fucked, Probably

The other day I was grabbing the shopping bags from out of the back of Elvis (the truck not the dead crooner) when I felt my elbow twinge. Not so unusual since EVERY joint in my old hag’s body cries out when I lift anything. But later that night I felt the burn of a very hot joint. My funny bone was sore and I WASN’T laughing. In fact I DON’T fucking like this one bit, but as I like to say, “things can always be worse,” and my shoulder is a GREAT example of this.

Before I got onto my current dose of HRT I had what they call frozen shoulder or Adhesive capsulitis. This is when the drop in estrogen causes the fluid–sac that is the shoulder capsule, to get dry and stiff. So course moving that arm gets REALLY FUCKING PAINFUL, because there’s no more juicy, bouncy, booty-licious cushion to help things glide smoothly. JUST like so many other symptoms of perimenopause and menopause this also creeps up on you like a sneaky bastard, foisting itself on you like a drunk slobbering over you at a party. Finally after watching you like a pervert, gets the Dutch courage to strike. Corners you then says, “surprise,” when you can’t get free.

For me it happened in stages (just like pervy drunk). First it was just a dull ache when I went to bed at night, nothing major but then over time it got stronger and more insistent. This is the ‘freezing’ stage. Next came the ACTUAL ‘frozen’ stage which didn’t hurt as badly but my motion just stopped, I couldn’t lift my left arm up to brush my hair or reach upwards when changing clothes. The only benefit was when I could no longer reach the top shelves I’d have to get my strapping Tatter Cloak to do it for me (but as he says, it makes him good for something).

Last of all was the ‘thawing’ stage (THANK FUCK) when I got some movement again and things got better – drunk perve clearly got the message and skulked off. I actually think this stage came faster because I talked to my doctor about this. She upped my vitamin D and sent me off to my endocrinologist who revised my estrogen dose. We know low estrogen does a number on joints, increasing inflammation and stiffening connective tissue. My progesterone was still at its optimal dose (that can make things hyper-flexible so getting the balance right, LIKE EVERYfuckingTHING ELSE in perimenopause, is crucial) and things got better. But let me tell you frozen shoulder was not fun. And I’m glad to be shot of it!

Crone Out