Post #27
I Think I’m Hearing Things
The Crone Chaos Report · Filed under: Things I Definitely Did Not Hear Coming
I don’t know where to begin with this one, so I’ll just start at the beginning. I’ll say it now, I, The Crone have been officially spooked. Much has happened in my life, some wild, some crazy, some baffling and some just downright fucking BORING! But it’s not often I get flummoxed (ah I feel better just saying that word!). Aye, I’ve been flummoxed because just when I thought I knew all there was to know about perimenopause, that little fucker has sneaked up on me again and jump scare-d me!
The worst thing is, I think I’ve been feeling this way for a while and didn’t really register it. So, the wake-up call or slap in the face happened last night. (I just had to get this off my chest).
There I am sitting at dinner with Tatter Cloak and a few of his nice colleagues from work (not many of those I’ll add!). I managed to have an energy spurt and cooked dinner. For all my failings, I’m not a bad cook. So there we are tucking away, chatting nicely. Me biting my tongue a bit (as I said, nice colleagues so I can be my chaotic self!) and feeling unusually stress-free.
I even managed a sip of vino (normally it brings out a rash of fire ants all over my face) and all was well. No heartburn, not burps. I managed to keep the farts at bay too. The dog looked pleased about being blameless for once!
Dinner ends and we’re now lounging about. Suddenly I hear someone ask me a question about which book, I’m currently reading. Sounds easy enough so I turn to the direction of the voice and reply, “Circe,” only to get a confused look.
Everyone turns and looks at me like I walked into a saloon! There’s me thinking my reading choice is far out, but nope! Turns out, NOBODY had asked me sweet fuck all! I had heard it, imagined it. After deftly swerving I brooded. What was happening to me? The spooking had begun.
Now sometimes as I fall asleep I hear a voice, usually a single word or even a bang. But it’s happened so often I don’t think about it because I’m just too happy to be falling asleep at all!
This by the way is Exploding Head Syndrome, it’s harmless and happens a lot when hormones are fluctuating. HellFUCKINGo, THAT’S ME and a lot more women during perimenopause! But this was not that. Not least because I was wide awake.
My mind’s going in a million directions. Do I have schizophrenia? I know mental health can be affected by perimenopause and trigger all sorts. Do I have a brain tumor? Am I going deaf? Was poking my itchy perimenopause ears with cotton tips too excessive? Had I popped my ear drum?
Then that other awful thought dawned on me. POSSESSION! I imagine Max Von Sydow expelling demons from my being. Dead relatives, poltergeists, all the things I don’t believe in, suddenly flood into my brain!
After a good chat with my Sister Crones, who laugh more heartily than I expected at my anguish. Apparently auditory hallucinations are not unheard of (bmmm tssshh! Pardon the pun!) during the ‘change.’ So in answer to all my questions, this is normal for some of us. And can get worse during times of brain fog or stress.
So, what the fuck’s actually going on? Declining estrogen mostly. It protects and regulates the auditory system and neurotransmitters so when it fucks off, the hearing and how it’s interpreted by the brain, suffers also. Stress and tiredness make things worse and that’s why we hear things at random times or as we fall asleep. But recurring issues especially hearing things while awake need looking at properly.
I’m going to add something else because why not, you need to be fucking aware! Sometimes sensitivity to sounds can also be a thing. I’ll talk about that another time.
For now, I’m ditching the Ouija board and slapping a few extra estrogen patches on my ears. Just kidding, there’s no way I’m wasting them like that, who the fuck do you think I am?!!
LIVE LIFE CRONE.