Terms & Conditions

Last updated: September 1, 2026

Welcome to Crone in Chaos, where we discuss perimenopause, aging, hormones, hot flashes, brain fog, mysterious new chin hairs, and the general betrayal of a body that once appeared to have an operating manual.

By using this website, you agree to the following Terms & Conditions. Yes, we have Terms & Conditions. Apparently even Crones need paperwork.

1. This Is a Blog, Not a Doctor

Crone in Chaos provides articles, opinions, humor, personal experiences, general information, and the occasional profanity about perimenopause, menopause, aging, health, and life.

Nothing on this website is medical advice.

We are not diagnosing you. We are not treating you. We are not prescribing anything. We cannot see that weird thing on your elbow from here.

Information on this site should not replace advice from a qualified healthcare professional. If you have questions or concerns about your health, medications, symptoms, treatments, or whether something happening to your body is normal, talk to an actual medical professional.

If you are experiencing a medical emergency, please stop reading the Crone and seek appropriate emergency medical care.

Not medical advice. Just Crone advice.

2. Your Mileage May Vary

Bodies are weird.

Something that worked beautifully for one woman may do absolutely nothing for another woman, or may cause her to spend three hours wondering why she listened to a sarcastic woman on the internet.

Articles may discuss products, foods, supplements, exercises, lifestyle changes, treatments, or other things people have tried. That does not mean they are safe or appropriate for everyone.

Use your judgment. Talk to your healthcare provider. You are responsible for decisions involving your own health.

The Crone already has enough responsibility.

3. Accuracy

We make a reasonable effort to provide useful and accurate information.

However, medicine changes. Research changes. Recommendations change. Sometimes scientists discover that the thing everyone confidently believed ten years ago was apparently nonsense.

We therefore make no guarantee that every piece of information on this site is complete, current, error-free, or appropriate for your particular circumstances.

4. Opinions Are Opinions

Some content on Crone in Chaos contains opinions.

Strong ones.

Possibly accompanied by sarcasm.

Unless otherwise stated, opinions expressed on this website are simply the opinions of the author. You are completely free to disagree.

The Crone will somehow survive.

5. External Links

Sometimes we link to other websites because they contain useful information, interesting research, products, services, or something we think is worth seeing.

Once you leave Crone in Chaos, you have wandered beyond the boundaries of the Crone's kingdom.

We do not control third-party websites and are not responsible for their content, availability, security, privacy practices, accuracy, or whatever fresh nonsense they may get up to.

6. Advertising and Affiliate Links

Crone in Chaos may display advertising or occasionally use affiliate links.

If we receive compensation, commissions, free products, or some other material benefit related to content, we will disclose that relationship where appropriate.

Advertising appearing on the site does not necessarily mean the Crone personally endorses the advertiser, product, service, corporation, potion, powder, gummy, cream, mysterious device, or miracle cure being advertised.

Especially the miracle cures.

7. Intellectual Property

Unless otherwise stated, the original writing, artwork, graphics, characters, branding, and other original content on Crone in Chaos belong to Crone in Chaos LLC and are protected by applicable copyright and intellectual property laws.

Feel free to share links to our articles.

Please do not copy entire articles, steal our artwork, republish our content as your own, scrape the site to build your own content empire, or otherwise behave like a digital goblin.

If you would like permission to reuse something, ask.

8. AI-Assisted Artwork

Some artwork and visual elements appearing on Crone in Chaos may be created or assisted using artificial intelligence tools.

The words, stories, opinions, questionable judgment, and general hormonal outrage belong to the humans.

9. Comments and User Content

If Crone in Chaos allows comments or other user-submitted content, please behave like a reasonably civilized member of the coven.

We reserve the right to remove spam, harassment, threats, hateful material, illegal content, advertising, dangerous misinformation, or anything else we determine does not belong here.

You do not have a constitutional right to scream in the Crone's living room.

10. No Guarantees

We hope something here makes you laugh, teaches you something, makes you feel less alone, or prevents you from throwing your laptop through a window during a particularly enthusiastic hormonal episode.

We cannot guarantee any of those things.

Crone in Chaos is provided on an "as is" and "as available" basis without warranties regarding accuracy, reliability, availability, or suitability for any particular purpose.

11. Limitation of Liability

To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, Crone in Chaos LLC and its owners, authors, contributors, and affiliates will not be liable for damages or losses resulting from your use of, reliance upon, or inability to use this website or its content.

In considerably less lawyerly language:

Please do not make major medical or life decisions solely because the Crone said something funny on the internet.

12. Privacy

Your use of this website is also subject to our Privacy Policy, which explains what information may be collected and how third-party services used by the site may operate.

Because apparently "mind your own damn business" wasn't considered a sufficiently comprehensive privacy policy.

13. Changes to These Terms

We may update these Terms & Conditions from time to time as the website changes, laws change, or somebody somewhere invents a new reason websites need another paragraph of legal language.

The current version will be posted on this page with the date it was last updated.

14. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws applicable to Crone in Chaos LLC, without regard to conflict-of-law principles.

Any disputes relating to these Terms or use of the website will be handled in an appropriate court with jurisdiction over the matter.

Hopefully it never comes to that.

Court sounds exhausting.

15. The Extremely Short Version

If you skipped everything above, which the Crone fully expected:

This is a blog.

We write about perimenopause and life.

We try to be accurate.

We are not your doctor.

Don't steal our stuff.

Don't be an asshole.

And please consult an actual healthcare professional before making important decisions about your health.

There.

Saved you fourteen sections.